Papa Joe Mama's 1998 SubGenius radio play "I Was a Cultist for the ATF" is but one of several short radio plays in this rerun from 2003. We also get "SubGenius Sci Fi" by The Bishop and the classic "High School Madness" by The Firesign Theatre from their album "Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers." Oddly, all of these old skits seem remarkably pertinent to this week's news events despite being such ancient parables about authoritarianism in THE CONSPIRACY. Lonesome Cowboy Dave and the late Chas Smith are heard in some great clips from ESO Swamp Radio (WCSB) and there are loads of keen Lemur Collages -- plus, Radio Lemuria, which has nothing to do with Lemur but features a fine rant by Rev. Lemuel Atom. Music cuts include Rev. Mojo Nixon and Rev. The Amino Acids!

Live at Tarzan's Radio Station in Fossil House on Dokstok Mountain, Stang Ranch, Stangsville, Texas, 2017"-01-23 with Lonesome Cowboy Dave calling in.

The new Secretary of Hate's comments and "alternative facts." Ladies' March inaugural discrepancies and old fake news about what constitutes reality. Transporntainment, infotainment and Dave's novel NEIGHBORWORLD. "Info" and "scan" as suffixes, prefixes. The Winterstar Ball with Rev. Baby Bear preaching on Feb 12 at Beachland Ballroom in Cleveland. The old Winterstar site sold to some cult. Stang's scary certified letter from tax man wanting proof of "agricultural use" for Dokstok Mountain. How to qualify for "AG USE"? Butterfly sanctuary? Raise meerkats, lemurs, tree sloths? Stang's Roach Farm! "Bob's" prophecy re: roach steaks in 2000, broomsticks in the ass fad. Could make cheap broomsticks from cedars. Need to somehow have farm on 5 acres. Ant farm? Pet rock farm? SKULL FARMING! Roadside attraction "Destructionist Museum" and the excavations of our devil, alien, and cave SubGenius fossil skeletons. Man Eating Chicken and post-post-literate travelers. The SubGenius Abusement Park in Glen Rose Texas. Make the Yankee tourists sign the waiver and then we farm their skulls. The drones record it all anyway. Get Legume to do the Cave Bear Mating Dance of the Cave SubGenius wearing our bear skins for the roadside attraction. Get CULT EXEMPTION? But we have no minions. Stang speculates re: right wing conspiracy against SubGenius in town. But this is a low grade cult. President Howard Hughes. TrumpStop convenience stores/privately-owned prisons in poor neighborhoods, intellectual places. "Terrorists" who reverse the words on TrumpStop signs. Indian tribal militia and blue corn and President Hughes. The billionaire Presidents: Rothschild, Rockefeller, Morgan, Vanderbilt, Ford. Pinkertons and Wells Fargo and Penny Dreadful. The Hessians and Prussians. Mug of coffee in the Tarzan Radio Station. Don't replace it or you'll die. Pus thermometers. The Atlas of Sexual Depravity. Obsequeate the sebaceous glands. Dave's dad was a loiterer from the planet Plutocrat. This conversation is as weird as with that guy I thought was Rev. Peas. British and Soviet sex machines. Who's listening anyway? Listen to 'em listening! "If it crawls it bites, if it grows it sticks." Goat heads. Great Lakes baby hill made of solid Ontario quartz crystal near Kirtland Ohio - Dave will use it to mind control the region for evil. "Grab 'em by the country." "Shut the front door!" Regime change hasn't changed small-town Texas -- except all my tax bills suddenly doubled. Must farm Dobbsheads or Pipes -- Pipe Farm details. Pipe seeds, growing Pipes fornicating under the full moon. Medical Jalapeno farm. Conspiracy wants the property. Waylon Nelson song about Glen Rose. Stang's ex-wife raises bees and organized a Womens March in Beaumont! Everybody's ex-wife was heroic. Possible violence at women's marches? TOPLESS women's marches? Dave's last hair. Topless is legal in the frozen north. Sex is something you do with a hired person in a motel room. We're in the Black Hole and time is passing much faster outside. The ones who were outside the event horizon when we went in are all dead. We'll stay in the black hole until the next election. Morlocks know how to party and know how to barbecue. ELOI-FACE SANDWICH. Trump is the Numa-Numa-siah. "My Wife is a Slack Pile." Photo essay on our family piles. Morlock music, Morlock rock kicks ass. Very high voices, like the band Yes. Tarzan's Radio Station is in a cave - Dammett's voice and his autistic problems. We have to pay the vet to "touch him there." Dammett's strange obsessions. ((Dave talks about the room with the paintings -- CUT THIS PART BEFORE POSTING!!!!) Makes me want to dance! Dave's chimp arms. Pappy's Sons of the Pioneers tape - vinyl revival. When in Detroit, visit WEIRDSVILLE RECORDS!! The only brick and mortar store that sells SubGenis ordainment kits! Weirdsville also in Dave's book. Thunderpants. Geld the working class. People polite in real life but mean on the Internet. "I thought Pinks meant queers and sissies and commies!" Stang Pink Pity rant. Bravery of the Internet screen. "Your stuped!" Stang's obnoxious friend blamed everything on the Internet, specifically usenet. Internet was great when only smartypants knew what it was. Stang's internet history - AOL to Cleveland Freenet. Free outlaw world until it turned into TV. Every stupid thing validated now. You had to work HARD and go to creepy bookstores to get your kook ideas validated. Abortion malls Onion article was "fact" and NOW LOOK! Lies like "welfare queens" and all the people Hillary murdered with her bare hands. Dave's new song. We're the REAL elitists. Any idiot boy can grow up to be President if he has a rich daddy. Sudden end of show.

(On the Internet version only, 15 more minutes of secret Church gossip follows.)

Rev. Argus Faux of Hypercube - Sunday Rant #A1 - "A Lot of People are Saying" with Rev. Angry Larry guitar and Lord Rock God drums

Sunday at 19X-Day: Intro to ASK DR. HAL, rewards, questions, Stang rant re pencils, donation amounts, receptacles. WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT COLOR? WHY IS "BOB"? (the unearthed ancient photo-"Bob") HOW DO I LADIES NIGHT? X-Lay Ladies Free. WILL THERE BE BILL CLINTON PENCIL SHARPENERS ON THE ESCAPE VESSELS? HOW CAN I BE STUPIDER THAN "BOB"? Luck Plane advice. WHAT SPECIES OF TRILOBITE WAS MOST COMMON DURING THE TRIASSIC PERIOD? WHY IS IT RAINING? Great water and moon rant with Morricone music. WHAT IS "BOB" WEATHER? WHAT IS A LAVALIER? Made-up answer involving leering lava and lamps. Hal on Atlantis, Poseidolis poem by Clark Ashton Smith. HOW CUM? WHAT IS "THE BEST POEM"? WHICH IS BETTER, BOING or BOOIIIINNNG? Vampire Leprechaun Boings. HOW CAN MUSIC BE EMPLOYED IN THE ART OF MIND CONTROL? The Supremacy of Uruguay story. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FREQUENCY IN THE ELECTROMAGNETIC SPECTRUM? The 60-hertz hum soothes prisoners and beasts. IS WILFRED BRIMLEY STILL ALIVE? WHAT IS DR. HAL? Burning Man, Chicken John and the talking ass. WHAT DOES "BOB" NEED OUR MONEY FOR? WHAT IS SO INFRA ABOUT INFRA-RED? THIS TIME FOR SURE? Great Hal TIME rant!

Rev. Argus Faux Rant A2 (Sunday) - “There's a Man” (“Bob”-Job rant) with Rev. Angry Larry guitar and Lord Rock God drums.

We're still unearthing mystery clips of ranting and music from the hours and hours 19X-Day recordings, and two newly excavated rants are mounted here -- one by Rev. Argus Faux and one by Rev. Nuggett, both ranting their lungs out over music by The FukPs (in this case Rev. Angry Larry, Lord Rock God and Rev. Sinphaltimus Exmortis). Another rant, the excellent "Special Snowflakes" by The Good Rev. Roger, is read by Stang at 19X-Day. The rest is straight WCSB-style Stang-Doe-Dave spouting, but recorded at Stang Ranch insteada of WCSB. There we discussed the dangers of brains and knowledge in a Trumpian America, which is also illustrated in the song by The Attery Squash, "DEVO Was Right About Everything." The difference between scrum and crunt is further delineated. "We all fetch the stick when the big man throws it."

Whole episode is recorded in one take on New Year's Day, "2017," at Tarzan's Radio Station with Lonesome Cowboy Dave guesting and gusting by phone. Partial list of subjects covered: new laws for the Re-Entertainment Camps of The Pink Orangutan; make your own reality pills; Angela Merkel's merkin; Good Germans of America; trade the U.S. to Russia to get Checkers back; I love Big Brother; everyone else is wronger; a swampy 1984; playing with Tannerite; people think Kong and The Mummy are myths; bowel movement of the brain; Camus, Sartre and Dave; fear of death by knowledge; Destroy All Normals; actual names of real Texas plants; The Eavesfropper; Kwanzaa Hut; if Dave was President; get revenge on smartypants; Pappy in a bra; Throw Away That Truss Bridge Collapse; Cornelius Badlybuilt; we voted for him so don't shoot us; Stang got VR motion sickness on Xmas; Dave's novel NEIGHBORWORLD; stuff it into a fat sock and call it love; scroti and scrum; 2016, the year so many potential bullshartists were born. (Background music is all movie scores by John Carpenter.)